


just wanna feel your lips against my skin

by thekatelynoftheopera



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Femslash, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatelynoftheopera/pseuds/thekatelynoftheopera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>modern au eposette: loosely based around the song "is there somewhere" by halsey</p>
            </blockquote>





	just wanna feel your lips against my skin

_You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room / flashing those eyes like highway signs_

It was Grantaire who had the idea to get the hotel room, but Eponine couldn’t remember who decided to trash it.

  
Well, not trash – more like reassemble. The mattresses of the two queen-sized beds had been brought to the floor, and the pillows and blankets were lazily thrown about. The room had become a cloud, covered in bleached and starched sheets and overstuffed pillows. Combeferre and Enjolras were on the balcony with cigarettes, pretending not to care about such a childish game, while Grantaire, Jehan, Courfeyrac, Cosette, and (surprisingly) Eponine romped about on the soft duvets.

  
And Marius, but Eponine was trying to forget about him.

  
She was also trying to forget how Cosette’s skirt revealed her upper thighs and black lace underwear every time she jumped, and how nice her hair looked now that it was down from her topknot, and how she pulled Eponine just a bit too close when they danced together on top of the mattress.

  
Of course, she wasn’t succeeding in forgetting anything.

  
Enjolras, decidedly having had enough time to wait through their shenanigans, had announced that they were leaving in ten minutes; Cosette sat next to Eponine to put her heels back on. Silhouetted by the twilight outside, she brushed back her blonde hair and unintentionally bumped against Eponine’s arm. The brunette fought back the rush of euphoria that spread through her, opening and closing her fist. Thinking that this would be their only uninterrupted moment all night, Eponine opened her mouth to say something, anything.

  
Cosette stood up and went over to Marius just as quickly as she had sat down, draping an arm around his shoulders and laughing at something Courfeyrac said.

  
If she was being honest, Eponine had forgotten that anyone else besides Cosette was in the room.

 

 _Your lips hang heavy underneath me / and I promised myself I wouldn’t let you complete m_ e

Of course, they were sitting next to each other in the car. And of course, Marius was on the other side of Cosette.

  
With every accidental touch or low whisper, Eponine’s breath caught for a split second. She fought to ignore the stir in the pit of her stomach and told herself that it was paranoia that made her think Marius was looking at her. Smiling and nodding at any conversation thrown her way, she looked out the window at the passing city. Anything to take her mind off of this pitiful crush that refused to go away.

  
But even though she knew better than to pursue Cosette, part of her recognized that this wasn’t just some schoolgirl fantasy that would go away in a month or two. Eponine had had plenty of those. No, this was different. Her heart didn’t flutter with nerves when Cosette walked in the room, it ached with longing. She didn’t spend her time daydreaming about their relationship, instead favoring to stifle any trace of serious feelings that came her way.

  
And oh, God, how Cosette lead her on. She constantly played with Eponine’s hair, casually caressed her arm, invited her out, and, possibly the worst of all, threw out overtly sexual or flirtatious remarks when Eponine least expected them. Of course, the gestures were always followed by a laugh to let her know that she wasn’t being serious, but they still left Eponine struggling to force a smile as her pulse quickened.  
Cosette, she reminded herself with a glance at the blonde’s hand in Marius’s, was the one person whom Eponine could never have.

  
The car jolted to a stop, and Eponine turned to face Cosette, who looked up through her eyelashes and smiled, raising her eyebrows. The neon signs flashed in the background, rusted yet bright. She looked as if she was about to say something, but Marius tapped her on the shoulder and she turned her head to look at him.

  
Eponine took the opportunity to quickly get out of the car, take a breath to collect herself, and start striding towards the run-down club.

 

_I’m trying not to let it show but I don’t wanna let this go / is there somewhere you can meet me?_

The rest of the group immediately went to the dance floor, while Eponine and Grantaire gravitated towards the bar. It was their usual protocol; they were both bad conversationalists who made terrible first impressions, and joining forces over their drinks served as a barrier between them and the rest of the rowdy crowd.

  
Grantaire ordered a double vodka, and Eponine gave a noncommittal had gesture to indicate that she didn’t want anything. Raising his eyebrows, her friend surveyed her over the rim of his glass, then looked out over the crowd. Following suit, Eponine looked onto the dance floor and immediately wished she hadn’t. Sure enough, Cosette and Marius were dancing together. Marius was slightly awkward in his usual way, but Cosette helped him along, laughing and grinning the whole time.

  
_Maybe I should call over that bartender_ , Eponine thought. She turned to grimace at Grantaire, who had already downed his drink. “She’s pretty goddamn oblivious,” he remarked, then signaled the bartender for another.

  
“How?”

  
He snickered as the second drink was placed in front of him. “You’re good at many things, Ep, but subtlety is not one of them.” Meeting her confused gaze, he rolled his eyes and grabbed a few bar peanuts. “You’re practically undressing her every time you look at her. Shit, I thought I was gonna have to give you a cold shower after you spent the whole car ride over staring at her.”

  
Eponine blushed furiously, unceremoniously grabbing Grantaire’s untouched drink and downing it in one gulp, enjoying the burn that turned into warmth in her stomach.

  
Nodding in approval, Grantaire gestured at the bartender once again. “Can we get a round of tequila shots?” he asked, giving Eponine a knowing smirk.

  
She failed to return the expression, because Eponine already had her eyes back on Cosette, who was dancing with conviction now and leaving no space whatsoever between her and Marius. Fuck it, she thought, turning back to look at the bartender pouring out their shots. “We’re gonna need more than one round,” she grumbled quietly, getting exceedingly pissed at how smug Grantaire looked.

 

_And I try to refrain but you’re stuck in my brain / and all I do is cry and complain because second’s not the same_

An hour later, Eponine was outside angrily puffing on her last cigarette, the empty box crushed and thrown in the general direction of the dumpster. Looking at the smoke clouds dissipating in the air, she made a mental note to raid Combeferre’s glove compartment; surely she could sneak one or two smokes without him noticing.

  
She had tried to dance, but even with the liquid courage in her veins, she found herself stuck between being mad at Cosette for dancing with Marius or fighting the urge to grab her and kiss her right there, in front of him and everyone else on the damn dance floor. Part of her just wanted to see his reaction, to relish in his anger, to make him feel the way she felt: just as disposable as the goddamn empty cigarette box.

  
Taking a smoke break was safer for everybody involved, she decided.

  
She still felt pitiful. Truth be told, she always did around Cosette. No matter how many times Eponine told herself that she was more than capable of only being friends with her, she was always reeled back in by a quick glance or a casual touch. It made Eponine feel weak. Usually, thanks to experiencing years her father’s constant torment and abuse, she was able to lock down all of her true feelings and wear a mask of indifference. In her father’s house, this ability helped her to avoid a portion of the beatings; if she was being completely honest, it helped in the real world too.

  
But Cosette – everything was different. It was like Eponine had been thrown into the deep end with no idea how to swim. She couldn’t hide her feelings; she couldn’t even diminish them. Grantaire had confirmed it. Worst of all, if Grantaire could tell, even with his general disinterest towards any “drama” going on in the group, everybody could tell – except, of course, for Cosette. Or could she?

  
She dropped the cigarette and crushed it under her lace-up boots, leaning back against the brick wall and blowing the last breath of smoke into the September night.

 

_I’m sorry but I fell in love tonight / I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight_

Eponine had mustered up just enough dignity to force herself back into the club when the door slammed open and Marius stormed out onto the pavement, clearly disgruntled. Cosette followed not five seconds after.

  
They hadn’t seen her yet, so Eponine side-stepped out of the light from the nearby lamppost and leaned against a darker wall. Their voices were tense and punctuated, rising in volume with every word, but still too far away for her to hear properly. Both of them were gesturing angrily, with Marius pointing at the door they had just come through and Cosette dismissing it with a flick of her hand. Eponine was too far to really distinguish how the gestures fit together, but it was surprising to see them fight at all. Cosette had never told her of any disputes between them, but then again, she didn’t share anything too private with anyone in the group. She and Marius were balanced, constant, a cool and clear river where the current never picked up. And yet, here they were, falling apart at the seams, unaware of their audience of one.

  
Cosette must have delivered the final blow, because Marius suddenly deflated. For a few seconds, he hardly moved, staring over Cosette’s head and out into the parking lot. Turning back to her, he said one more phrase to her before turning and walking away, down the sidewalk and around the corner.

  
Eponine quietly blew out a long breath. Cosette, still unaware of her presence, was still watching the corner which Marius had just disappeared behind. Her shoulders were shaking slightly, but other than that, she was frozen, caught in her own riptide.

  
Knowing very well that Cosette would turn around and see her eventually, Eponine shoved her hands in her pockets and took quiet steps forward to where the blonde stood. She was able to cover the distance within a few strides; the heel of her boot landing too harshly in a puddle was what gave her away. Immediately flinching, Cosette attempted to hide her tearful eyes behind a section of hair as she turned around with a forced smile.

  
Once she saw it was Eponine, though, the mask fell, and the brunette was the only one around to see her really, truly break. Cosette nearly fell into her arms, choking on her own tears, unable to relay any semblance of what had just happened. Guiding her over to sit on the steps, they sat, leaning on each other for support, silent apart from Cosette’s gasps and loud swallows.

  
Once the blonde was ready to tell Eponine what had happened, it wasn’t the overwhelming lust, love, whatever you call it that prompted Eponine to stay. For once, it seemed, it was friendship. And for once, Eponine listened to everything Cosette had to say without thinking once of how in love she was with her, without any interference from feelings she wasn’t always sure she wanted. And it was friendship, not that constant desire, which let Eponine hold her while she cried and look her in the eye while she explained. Eventually, Eponine had taken Combeferre’s keys out of his coat pocket, and was driving Cosette home, soothing her and telling her that everything would be okay.

  
It was love, yes, but a different kind of love.

 

_You’re looking like you fell in love tonight_

Pulling up in Cosette’s driveway, Eponine got out and came around the front of the car. Her offers to stay until Cosette truly felt okay were politely rebuffed. Eponine had already done plenty, Cosette insisted, and she was incredibly grateful, but she would be okay on her own for the night. Still, the brunette like she hadn’t done enough; her stomach felt vaguely uneasy at the thought of abandoning the girl whose ever-present confidence was shattered outside of that bar.

  
They stood in silence, unable to find parting words, but also out of conversation to delay their divergence. Eponine fumbled with the keys, scuffing the heel of her boot against the pavement. Cosette adjusted her coat in the crook of her elbow. “Sorry to interrupt your night with all of that,” she muttered, barely audible and staring at the ground.

  
Eponine rested her right side against the driver’s side door. “You’re not interrupting my night.”

  
It was true, that she didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything, but Cosette looked at her strangely anyways. Eponine was about to ask her for the millionth time if she should stay, but she was cut off by Cosette closing the distance between them with two steps and pressing her lips against the brunette’s for no more than a second, then pulling away just as quickly as she had approached, barely giving Eponine time to register what had just taken place.

  
It felt like Eponine had fallen from a cliff only to find that she could fly.

  
When she opened her eyes, Cosette was still in front of her, anchored as the universe slowly and dully ticked on around them. They both stood in anticipation, inches from each other, both afraid of what they would do if they allowed themselves to speak or move. They couldn’t be closer, and yet, part of Eponine knew they couldn’t be further from each other.

  
A sudden glare of headlights at the bottom of the driveway jolted the girls from their reverie, and Eponine looked over only to see Marius stepping out of his car and coming towards them. Subconsciously, Eponine shifted her weight away from Cosette as the blonde stepped back while turning to face him.

  
Obviously uncomfortable with Eponine’s harsh presence, not to mention the anger in her eyes upon seeing him intrude, Marius looked at Cosette sorrowfully. “I was wondering if we could…” another apprehensive glance at Eponine, “…talk about this.”

  
Cosette looked up at Marius, then at Eponine, then at the door of her house. “Alright, come in,” she agreed quietly.

  
Nodding, he started up the pathway to the front door as Cosette cast a fleeting glance towards the brunette, then looked back at the ground. “Thanks for the ride, Eponine.”

  
Speechless at how quickly the universe had decided to fuck her over this time (usually she enjoyed herself for at least a few hours before something horrific happened, often thanks to her father), Eponine barely nodded before she got back in Combeferre’s car and quickly backed out of the driveway. Speeding ever so slightly, she managed to get herself and the car back to the club without anyone noticing she had left. Walking in, she gripped the stair railings a bit too tightly, trying to calm the sea of conflicting emotions welling up inside of her.

  
She couldn’t decide whether she was afraid, disappointed, or euphoric.

 

_Could we pretend that we’re in love?_

She tried not to get her hopes up. Really, she did. For two days, she was in a constant state of waiting, glancing at her phone to see if Cosette would call. It was, after all, in her hands now, right? So when Jehan organized the group for lunch two days later, Eponine expected that she would see Cosette there and find a minute to talk, to figure everything out, and to kiss her again.

  
But she really tried not to get her hopes up.

  
And when she was standing with Jehan and Grantaire in the parking lot and saw Cosette and Marius walk up to them hand in hand, smiling as if nothing had happened two nights before, she really wasn’t all that upset. This was just how it had to be. Relationships had disputes all the time, right? It was nothing they couldn’t work through.

  
And if Eponine happened to get herself tangled up in it at the wrong time, well, she could only blame herself.

  
(It crushed her.)

  
Cosette exchanged a quick glance with her as she went inside, and in her eyes, Eponine could see that she sincerely was sorry. Not sorry enough to leave Marius – but no, that was never an option.

  
(She desperately wished it was).

  
When she returned the glance, Eponine didn’t give Cosette her forgiveness, her approval, or even her disdain.

  
Eponine’s eyes held nothing.


End file.
